Continued from Tuesday, March 21st's Mindfulness at Miraval...
“How are you feeling?” Wyatt squints up at me, arms folded across his brown leather vest, one cowboy boot kicked up on the stool he’s commandeered as throne of this arena. I laugh nervously and swallow hard. The surface goal of this exercise is to walk up to the horse, pick up his hooves, and clean them. The real point, however, is to uncover fear & self-doubt, the root causes (often going back to childhood) and the patterns held in your current life that perpetuate them. The horse acts as an energetic mirror and simply won’t allow you to pick up his hooves until your emotional output is clear. If you’re hiding anything it won’t work.
My first attempt yielded nothing so he called me back to his side. After a series of discovery questions we dug into childhood and possible areas of repression. Anger has always been an easily accessible emotion for me so he asked me to channel that cleansing fire into my actions. Like magic, it worked. The hooves, which were at first unmovable, rose up, first one then the other, and I cleaned the dirt and dung out with the pick feeling enormously proud of myself.
Though, I didn’t experience the teary break-through many of my colleagues did I appreciated the experience… the chance to interact with a beautiful animal, the imposing “Cowboy God” character that is Wyatt, and the opportunity to explore my vulnerability.
Often, we aren’t honest with ourselves about how we feel, not intentionally, but through learned behavior. We don’t even realize we’re hiding pieces of ourselves and in uncovering them we are able to get one step closer to being whole, to healing circumstances of birth or environment that we had no control over. You realize with time and intention that though there are many external factors in life we cannot change we do have the power—and the responsibility to heal any damage done by them. This process of breaking and rebuilding is what creates real strength and integrity. We honor ourselves in doing this.
The singularly most impactful experience I had during my time at Miraval was the Brennan Healing Science with Tejpal, a medical intuitive and healer. Tejpal is the real deal. She emanates the timeless beauty and resilience of an oak tree, ageless and radiant. She has dedicated her life to helping others learn to live a life of vibrance and joy through the health of the five bodies she identifies as the physical, emotional, mental, heart, and soul.
The first day I arrived at Miraval I took a group class led by Tejpal, “Unleash the Power of Your Soul.” I am so grateful I did this, because I was able to witness her work with other individuals. She sees you, the real you, there is no hiding weaknesses, fears, or attributes you may not be aware of like a wellspring of creativity. Having thus witnessed her work with others with unfailing accuracy I went into my one-on-one session with great trust and respect.
It was uncanny, her insight, unerring and no-nonsense but with a gentleness as well. She confirmed much for me, self-truths about my strengths and desires that were empowered by the affirmation of another with no prior knowledge of me and no agenda. She recognized the seeker in me and the leader, the need like a heartbeat to be different, to be free. She saw old pains and recommended ways to treat them both physically and emotionally… Drink water with Himalayan salt first thing in the morning and breathwork… Breathing in to hold and then release in four sharp expulsions, mentally reciting “Sa Ta Na Ma… Infinity. Life. Death. Rebirth.” The last portion of the session she wanted to dedicate to Soul Journey, which I had not originally intended, and I struggle with how to describe this and am not even sure that I should...
Soul Journey, per the Miraval website:
“Through music and channeling you will explore some aspects of your lineage and past lives that may help you to create a vibrant life. You will receive insights and healing shared by your spiritual guides that will support you to fulfill your soul longings.”
She had me lie on my back, eyes closed, while she entreated the help of spirits to guide her in visions of my past lives. She shared with me different scenes… Lying in the grass as a child counting stars with my partner soul, another as a warrior leaping from tree to tree in the Amazon, another facing off a moose with no fear, being somehow spiritually connected to it, another chafing under regimentation in Belgium, and so on. My partner soul wound in and out the scenes tying my lives together…this partner soul that I’ve yet to meet in this lifetime, one whom I’ve never believed in.
It is such an alien thing for me to consider. I’ve never put stock in past lives, but the seed is there now, at least the question. Everything else she shared with me was so directly and specifically me in ways that no one outside of myself could know that I have to pause and ponder... Is it possible? Let me know what you think on the Explore comments section!
Miraval Part III. continues tomorrow, Thursday, March 23rd at 11 AM PST...